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sexually transmitted anything | yakky’s random musings (yrm)

When Prof. Domwini Kuupole addressed us some days ago when we were graduating, he said he’s not very particular about certificates acquired. The reason was that most students can contact Sexually Transmitted Grades (STGs). Initially, I thought he meant STDs until he repeated the acronym.

You know STGs abi? These are ‘achieved’ by the contact of private parts between teachers/lecturers and students. You can be there studying your brains out, while a fellow student just needs to insert an organ which belongs to a teacher of the opposite sex, into his or hers, and gbam! Just like the snapping of fingers, this student passes without a sweat; well, not really because there should have been sweat, or isn’t that so? Really, I don’t know because I wasn’t there.

Well, whether you got your degree through STGs, save us the headache; we are not interested. Now that you’re out in the world, ehn ehn, be sure that you move to Sexually Transmitted Employment. Matter of factly, be prepared to be involved in Sexually Transmitted Anything,  because that’s the only way you’ll be able to ‘defend’ your Sexually Transmitted Degree. You understand?

What is more disturbing is that before some ladies sing in the choir, they sleep with the choir directors. How do you even enjoy that kind of sex? Is it sweeter than itch? Hian! After that, you can still sing? You don’t fear God? Some men do it also, don’t make it seem as if it’s only ladies that indulge in this illicit act.

And you that doesn’t even bother to read at all simply because your father’s money can buy you grades (Financially Transmitted Grades). The most annoying part is that the money doesn’t even belong to you. Imagine the rubbish. Shame on you!

Since the cash is already there (and you presume it will always be there), yours doesn’t really bother me because atleast all you have to do is present cash and the powers that be will succumb to you. I feel pity no, I shed tears for those that wash plates, iron clothes, fetch water,  sweep and cook for lecturers in exchange for grades (Assistance Transmitted Grades). Hahaha I don’t have much to tell you except that you should be prepared to be a slave all your life.

Use what you have to get what you want abi? Izzokay.

YakekponoAbasi Adams


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