Ha! Why do I have a feeling that this one will not be easy? Okay, let’s see.
There’s this friend of yours. You’re just friends,nothing more or less. Yet, you feel jealous when you see an opposite sex get too close for comfort. Is it okay for you to feel jealous?
You’re not alone. It happens every now and then. Most people just won’t talk about it, you know, because they probably feel guilty or ashamed.
I’m jealous, but I’d never admit it. I’m jealous, but I’d never tell him. I’m jealous of what’s not mine. Not angry, not upset. Just jealous. When I think He likes someone else, I retaliate with silence and I-could-care-less. Ha-ha that’s so funny. Read the full poem here.
I wrote that poem merely from a feminine point of view. It doesn’t mean that this article is about ladies only. If you’re a male and it pertains to you, replace ‘him’ with ‘her’ and ‘he’ with ‘she’. Yea, that’s more like it.
Is it wrong to feel jealous? Jealousy is an emotion. You feel happy, you feel horny, you feel jealous, you feel hungry. You feel emotions. They aren’t right or wrong. What you DO is right or wrong.
Jealousy is a bit different from other emotions in that it is a feeling made up of other feelings, usually insecurity and fear of loss.
Your friend talks to other people of the opposite sex and your emotions start whispering in your ears that maybe he/she likes them more than you, maybe they’re more interesting than you, maybe they’re cleverer than you, maybe erm… he/she would rather be with them than with you. The list goes on and on. Wham! You’re jealous.
It would be easier if you both were in a serious relationship. But you aren’t.
There’s nothing wrong with being jealous. However, too much of it can be toxic. It has to be in the right dosage, even the smallest bit extra might be too much to digest.
An explanation for this is that you like him/her. You’re attracted to him/her. I think that you are jealous of this “friend” because you’re afraid the “like” is not mutual; hence,you feel insecure and vulnerable. Congrats, and welcome to the club! You are left wondering where you stand with him/her. This is limbo land…not a good place to be.
Try to unravel any expectations you have. He/she hasn’t given you a commitment and so anything you may expect comes from you and you alone.
Liking someone is great, but when you put a lot of energy and thought toward someone,you’re investing in them.
Only invest in those who invest back in you. Remind yourself that he/she is allowed to talk to and flirt with whomever he/she likes. The jealousy comes from you, own it.
You could open up your feelings straight up to the person. Well, you may be rejected or accepted. Be ready to face whatever comes your way.
Fortunately or unfortunately, he/she may notice your jealousy and ask why you get jealous. If he/she likes you back, a relationship might grow. If he/she doesn’t like you back, you’ll get a “sorry, we can be just friends and nothing more.”
Ahem….I wish you the best of luck.