My head was banging. My hands were shaking. Beads of sweat formed all over my body. My face was raining salty droplets. I sank into a seat placed at the corner of the balcony. I just couldn’t think straight. It all came to me. All the time I wasted. We should be together. I knew it. Somehow, I’ve always thought I didn’t measure up. I thought I wasn’t enough for her. That is why, I said to myself. That is why I never pushed. I never asked for more, even though that was all I’ve ever wanted.
I looked up. Tess stood there watching me. She was waiting for a reaction. She was waiting for approval. I couldn’t give her that. My vision was blurred. My senses were numbed. She came to me, squatted and took my face in her arms. She pressed hers against mine, our noses rubbing together lightly. Earlier when we kissed, all I wanted was to explore her body. The air around us charged. Sparkles and sensations danced around our heads. Our foreheads stayed together, and I took her arms in mine. I pulled her up and looked into her eyes,
“What about me Tess? You can’t deny what we have?” My voice was unsteady. Tears gurgled in my throat.
“You never said anything. I assumed you weren’t interested in me that way. You never even kissed me. Even when I wanted you to, yearned that you do. You just hug me close and as much as that was lovely, I wanted more. You always pushed me to put myself out there, to meet people amd try to have something serious with someone, when all I wanted was you. I gave you all my greenlights. You never said you loved me back, how was I supposed to know?” She sobbed. I came to hug her but she pushed me away. Typical of me, she must be thinking.
I remembered. She was right. I was an ass. I looked at her and it hit me, everything I wanted was right here wanting me back. I grabbed her and this time, she offered mo resistance. My mouth closed over hers. I roamed. Searched. Hunted. She pressed herself to me. I lifted her and we moved into her bedroom. I pulled her shirt over her head. In seconds, I unclasped her bra and had her skirt and underwear cruising to the floor at top speed. She yanked my shirt open spilling buttons all over the floor. I tried to help her unbuckle my belt but she beat me to it. She was fast. Hungry. Whet. We both stood naked. I took her again and this time slowly with craft and precision, worked her body. I kissed her neck, caressing her back in the process. Her arms were wrapped around my neck as she responded with soft moans and wriggles. Her breasts were full of wanting and desire. Her nipples were hard as my tongue began to gallivant around them. I could hear her throbbing heartbeat as her chest rose and fell. She went down on her knees and took my shaft in her hand. She teased the tip with her tongue. I screamed in delight. She sucked on my penis like her life depended on it. I was shaking violently, trying so hard to be on my feet. I pulled her up after some minutes of being subjected to stupendous bliss and carried her to the bed. I took a moment to look at her naked body. She stared right back at me. No shame. Perfect. Beautiful. I rose over her, my hands pressed to the bed and mouth blazing a trail down her centre. From the valley between her breats, my tour downward hit her navel. She heaved in delight as I lingered a while. Slowly I approached her core. She was dripping wet. Warm. Waiting. I caressed the inside of her thigh with my fingers. She was wiggling in ecstasy. I inserted a finger into her honey pot. She gasped. She was a virgin. I knew that. I stopped and waited. “It’s okay”, she whispered, spurring me on. Slowly I moved my finger within her. Each throb giving her joy that was evident in her throaty whines. There was no blood. She was one of the few. I put my mouth to replace my hand. She cried out. “Make love to me sweetness!” She was begging now. I placed myself above her. Parted her legs a bit wider and carefully slid into her. She arched her back to meet me halfway. We rocked, swayed and rode to the zenith of pleasure together. When we came, the euphoria knew no bounds. I collapsed on her. She held on to me, giggling in excitement.
I felt someone else tap me. It wasn’t her. She was pulling my face down to kiss me, but the tap became light beating on my back.
“James! James!” It was my sister. How had she-
It was a dream. It was all a dream. I was in my bed enjoying eight hours of long sleep and sex, yes sex. I hadn’t seen Tess for a couple weeks. We spoke on ghe phone. She hadn’t said anything about marriage. The dream still puzzled me. She knew, I thought. I’ve told her the way I felt about her, but asked her to move on if she couldn’t wait for me. My life was still a mess. I didn’t want to put her in the middle of all my drama and surrounding issues. I had promised her that I won’t hate her if she left me for someone else. “Your life and wants come first”, those had been my words. I had dreaded saying them. I felt so blue.
“Whoever got you laid, did a hell of a job”, my sister smirked, directing my dazed look to my boxers visibly covered in sperm. I was awash with embarrassment. She walked to the door and stopped. “By the way, Tess is waiting for you in the parlour.” She said and gave me a knowing smile. My secret was safe. I knew that. I pulled on a change of clothes and washed my face. I walked into the parlour, she stood to meet me and I pulled her into a warm embrace.
“I have something to tell you”, she said. Her voice was calm. Much like in my dream. Fear gripped me. Could it be I had just seen the future? My lungs felt empty. No air. Sweat trickled down my back. The look in her eyes was expressionless. Just like in the dream. Fear swept through me, again.
“I’m getting married. I can’t wait for you forever.” Her voice was cold, full of darts that now pierced my ears, heart and mind.
I just stared.
TO BE CONTINUED