I’ve come to you in numerous forms, in attempts to create a connection with you. The attempts have been impossible, because there’s a huge vacuum that I feel between us. This vacuum is so deep, it tears my heart apart.
But, momma, why were those rich men relating sexually with us, even though they knew they were triple times our ages? Why did those teachers allow us to trade ourselves for higher grades? Why did the man who impregnated me say I should ‘flush it out’ with so much ease, as if others had done so for him before I? Momma, why is the system so polluted?
I lived a wild lifestyle and I actually enjoyed it. I had never stopped once to ask myself where it’d lead me to. I had never stopped once to ask myself if that was the right way to live. I had never stopped once to ask myself how long I’d be alive. Death was the last thing on my mind.
The narcotics put me in a state of emotion so intense that I was carried beyond rational thoughts and self-control. All that mattered to me was how extremely high I could get, and how many men I had my way with.
Momma, it was Samantha; it wasn’t me. It was Samantha who said that being high put me in control, and would take me to a realm where very few people attained. It was Samantha who said that it was I having my way with the men, not the other way round.
To be continued…