What are words? Well words are the expression of my thoughts and are the essence of who I am. You can never get to know someone without listening to their words. Their words are expressing what they are feeling and the kind of person that they really are. Just think for a moment of what our world would be like if we were unable to speak words.
Some might think that it would be a better place, and they might have an argument for that, but when you really come down to it, we would be hard pressed to have any real value in this world and in ourselves without words. It would make for a very dull and unresponsive society.
From the time you were just an infant in a crib, you soon learned very quickly how to express yourself and draw attention to what you wanted through, crying at first, but than latter you learned to develop words and sentences and you started on your journey to self discovery and the world that you live in.
Remember meeting that very special someone that you really wanted to impress and get to know. You carefully put together just the right words that you thought would attract them to you and get them to like you as much as you liked them, but you soon realized that they were doing the same thing, and you had to learn to listen as well to their words, if you wanted to get to know them. While this might take a little longer because the average women speaks about 20,000 words in a day while men only speak about 7000, you might be sitting there for quite awhile men. (just a little joke ladies…very little joke)
Because words are such a basic foundation to our growth as individuals, and our society as well, it is also one of the most neglected and abused daily functions. The words we speak can be very destructive and can hurt and maim a person’s character and quality of life forever. I’m not talking about 4 letter words either.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that what we read and view in the media today follows this very destructive road. I think that part of the problem in America today is the very abusive and destructive forms we have employed as a means of communication and expression.
One very real and extremely powerful form of this is gossip. Gossip magazines, celebrity gossip, gossip websites, and the soaps, are just a few of the training grounds for deadly and very hurtful words. You cannot watch these programs and walk away without them effecting you. I know people who believe that they are living some of those soaps in their very own lives, and this dangerous habit creeps into our lives every so slowly and subtlety.
I confronted my wife on hearing her in a conversation with one of her friends. They were talking about someone they both knew and what they were saying was gossip. Talking and giving their negative views about things that they really didn’t have all the facts on.
Men are just as guilty at this. I know because I grew up with a very destructive and hurtful mouth. It got me into trouble on more than occasion in my life, and I have left a wake of hurt and pain in so many lives, something that I am so ashamed of today.
But what I’m talking about is the hurtful things we say behind someone’s back. We can destroy the character and make total destruction of a person’s life without ever facing them. It’s not only mean and destructive, but it’s the most cowardly act I can think of.
People that perpetrate this kind of activity are people that can never resolve anything that’s wrong in their own lives, because they are so cowardly. They either don’t know how, or just don’t have enough courage, to come to someone that they have a problem with, and the two of them sit down and calmly and rationally resolve their issues. They don’t know how to do this, so they feel better when they can attack and devour someone else, and that makes them feel good about their own inadequacies.
Our young people are now using Face Book and the social media to attack others that may not have the ability to defend themselves from this kind of gangland verbal assault. It’s not uncommon anymore to read about another teenager who takes their own life because of the peer pressure group, that won’t stop their constant relentless verbal attacks.
Have you ever been told by someone, that you don’t want to get this certain teacher or that supervisor because they are not nice or they are very hard on new people. You listen to the character assassination attempts by people that are far from being perfect themselves, and then when you finally get that person, you find out that you and them get a long just fine. You find out that they were nothing like those people said they were, and you have no problems with them at all. Their destructive words painted a verbal picture about this person that was totally inaccurate.
Gossip and talking negative about someone behind their backs is a very destructive habit that will, not only destroy your life, but will seep into every relationship that you have. It will become who you are and it’s worse that any kind of drug or bad habit that you have.
Our news media, society, and the world at large, have embraced this type of destructive communication, all for the love of money, and there is no getting away from it. It’s everywhere you go today. I’ve just brought out one form of this but there are so many others.
You can change this but it will take work and discipline, and you have to start right now.
I have an exercise for you to do this week. Try not to say one derogatory remark about anyone behind their back, and if you hear someone gossiping about someone else, either point it out to them or just walk away from the conversation.
Yes our words express who we are, so let your words be uplifting and encouraging to others and be known for that kind of communication rather than being known as a gossip. It will change your life and I think it could eventually change America. Let’s get started today.
By Brian Gosur