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We all have the ability to communicate, even if we don’t speak. Even those who are considered deaf, mute and have no ability to move, communicate with us. I have worked with people who could only move their eyebrows or eyes and make sounds. Not only was I able to communicate with them but understand their personalities, likes, dislikes, what their needs were, and even their sense of humour. It was a matter of closing my internal chatter, observing their behaviours and non-verbal responses and being completely present for them.

It is imperative that we stop and think about the messages, verbal and non-verbal, that we are sending. We think about how we present to others by making sure our personal style, fashion, hair and make-up are sending a clear message about who we are, but often times don’t take the same care and diligence to ensure that our verbal and non-verbal communication are presented to give the same message. We may even work on one facet of our oral communication by making sure we speak in an even tone or with the vocal intensity so that everyone in the room can hear us, but then we use language that gives off subtle (or not so subtle) messages of negativity, aggressiveness, or even a sense of lacking and insecurity. By being mindful of our positive energy and honour, we can tailor our communication to send out only that which will bring back positive energy and thus be able to manifest what we want into our lives.

The use of negative statements is one of the ways in which we may want to portray a positive message but subconsciously we are sending out negative energy and wonder why we are receiving negative responses. The example that I will use here is the use of the word ‘fight’. We say that we are committed to the fight for the rights of one group or another. The cause may be worth going to bat for but the message is sending out negative energy. More positive and peace filled messages will go further to help a cause than the aggressive evoking negative statements. Use instead positive statements such as ‘our commitment to helping raise awareness for this noble cause will help us to find a cure’, rather than ‘we are fighting against this disease and will stop at nothing to find a cure’. There will be a subtle change of frequency with which these messages will be sent out to whomever you are speaking to, and it is embedded in each message. Each message has a high degree of passion for the speaker but will impact the outcomes. Positive statements and positive energy bring about positive results.

Say what it is that you mean to say. So many people speak in riddles or codes and expect others to understand what they are saying. Because we have differing perceptions, we need to speak clearly and concisely, which leaves little room for misunderstandings and ill feelings. If someone says something that you don’t understand clearly, then ask for clarification, this does not mean that your stupid or losing your faculties. Good, clear, positive communication is essential to having wonderful and positive relationships.

Remember to keep your face to the sunshine.


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About the Author:
Cheryl Hitchcock Author of “Give Your Head a Shake..and change your life for the better” is a Stress Management and Spiritual Coach with over 13 years of counselling and spiritual experience. Cheryl enables her clients to manage, as well as eliminate stress and related problems. She also conducts seminars and workshops that cater to Stress Management and Spirituality. For more information please visit and receive her free ebook “How to Overcome Depression without Medication”.


By IntegrityCounselling


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